Just to be clear, I'm not going to make any stupid jokes about the band's name. If that's the only reason you came here, well, tough luck.
I've come to the sudden realization that as I get older, I'm more bent towards heavier music. The 15 year old Marco that fancied Portishead, Massive Attack, Telepopmusik, Bat for Lashes and Emiliana Torrini would be trembling of horror and disgust at the mere sight of the chubby, long-haired bearded 20 year old Marco that can't go to sleep without playing that filthy stoner-metal track one more time.
So here I am, drinking my coffee at 1 in the afternoon listening to Whores' (still not doing it) second album Clean (fuck off). I'm aware of the fact that I might not be in the position to review anything louder than a fly flying aimlessly around your room, but since my colleagues have jobs and stuff, I might as well do it.
Shits and giggles aside, Clean is a filthy noise-rock album that will absolutely wreck your speakers. I've been listening to this thing for hours, my head hurts like shit and I just can't stop. The bass lines are ridiculous, the riffs will instill in you a life-threating impulse to air-guitar like a fucking maniac and the drumming is nothing short of wonderful. While the lead singer went undoubtedly bonkers throughout Clean, he alternates between distorted and straight up natural screaming, giving the album a ''kinda noise-sludge-heavy, but not really'' flavor and making it more appealing to newbies (like me). In consequence, while being heavy and ear-bleedingly loud, it's also groovy, catchy and weirdly hummable. The lack of experimentation and the straightforward nature of the album could be a major turn-off for some people, but not everything should be meant to set new barriers and revolutionize. What matters for me is the presentation, and if it's coupled with a few neat gimmicks, I'm okay with it.
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